literature

Oi Jesus Why Soooooo Much?

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Literature Text

stolen from Batsouppe

what’s your name ➔ Owen
do you have a nickname ➔ O-daddy, AMF [Asian Mother Fucker], "the Slut"
do you have a middle name ➔ yeah
do you like your name ➔ yeah sure at least my parents didn't have fun with my name [ex. Meg-atron, Otto-mechanic, North-west]
do people often mispronounce your name ➔ no. Unless someone called me O-wiener or something
do you like the meaning of your name ➔ what I don't even know it I think it's Irish or something
when is your birthday ➔ after blaze day goddammit just one day too late
how old are you ➔ yoda years 382
do you like your age ➔ please I love everything about my self so much hubrus just kidding
what’s your zodiac sign ➔ Taurus because I'm filled with bullshit

Appearance

what’s your hair colour ➔  black as.... hair
is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔ natural as a birthday suit
do you dye your hair ➔ well I think that when I die I will be thrown into a hole and rot under someone's house
do you have natural highlights ➔ well sometimes cornell notes I must highlight the titles but I don't know about hair. maybe pink or orange or yellow but idk highlighters
when was the last time you had a haircut ➔ ohhoho one does not simply get a haircut but seriously not in a bit
what length is your hair right now ➔ my ego. no like neck something how should I know
do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔ Straight as a ruler
do you have frizzy hair ➔ frizzy my nizzy no
do you use a curling iron ➔ sometimes my clothes must be ironed
do you use a hair straightener ➔ no I have rulers
do you braid your hair ➔ except for when I'm Bob Marley no
what’s your eye colour ➔ Brown like shit
do your eyes change colour ➔ what yes I have rainbows in my eyes and that's how I hook up
do you wear contacts ➔ a lot
if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔ well I do have a lot of contacts on my phone but how does that relate no I use regular
do you wear glasses ➔ yeah I'm so blind what am I typing is this that goddamn report I have to write whoops no it isn't. SUCK IT REPORT
do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔ so long I use them to tie bows for christmas presents
do you have dimples ➔ idk I'm a dimp daddy
do you have moles ➔ yeah sure
do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔ Bruce Jenner with an "I". no
do you have freckles ➔ I don't think so
do you have piercings ➔ down there in my pants just kidding please don't kill me
do you have tattoos ➔ yes if you smell my belly button you are overwhelmed by a world of pure imagination. no
do you wear make up ➔ no plz bitch I got that natural lucky charms
do you paint your nails ➔ I paint but not nails. I hammer nails tho 
do you wear jewelry ➔ I wear so many gold rings to look sassy lol
are you happy with your height ➔ sure I'm high why else would I be doing this

Personality 

would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔ I like to talk with people sure why not 
are you sarcastic ➔ no. yes. no. you find out? this question can literally not get a straight answer from anyone because you don't know if they're being sarcastic
what’s your biggest fear ➔ growing a pair how should I know
what’s your guilty pleasure ➔ watching netflix and looking up kanye west/spider man memes
are you religious ➔ I believe in the great gods Shrek, Kim Jong Un, and Bob Marley
do you get easily along with people ➔  sure people say I'm easy best joke ever
do you cry easily ➔ yes when my dog takes one on my balls with his tail the tears flow like a river XD

Family 
do you live with your biological parents ➔ yep they have biological but not logical
do you get along with your parents ➔ sure and I get laid as well when I be at the clubs haha jk but they're cool
do you tell your parents everything ➔ white lies for life
do you have strict parents ➔ nah they chill but granparents are asian so idk how my parents so chill now
do you have siblings ➔ my bro snake but otherwise just him and all the people I call bro
are you the oldest ➔ nope
are you in the middle ➔ center of the earth life revolves around me

are you the youngest ➔ yeah smooth as a child idk
are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ no bummer you have fun


Friendships
do you have a best friend ➔ yeah sure I don't really rank but Batsouppe and my bud Phin come over often
do you have more than 10 friends ➔ yep
do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔ Really I can trust everyone
do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔ around half and half but a few more dude friends maybe?
do you text with your friends a lot ➔ yeah sure I text some folks

Relationships
what’s your relationship status ➔ I tried to find a funny joke on the net to say I'm single but many of them were shitty. I'll just say forever alone, don't date this guy, lives under a rock, just listens to Queen songs and goes insane
have you ever been in love ➔ hmm sure
do you believe in love at first sight ➔ does it require binoculars
have you ever been in a relationship ➔ hohoho no I'm such a loser but someday I WILL GROW A PAIR
have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ sure myself
have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ no girls look at me and I look back and they're like "oh god I got his attention" lol
have you ever been kissed ➔ my first kiss was with my self. sensually, my lips inploded as I embraced myself in my own warmth. I slowly pulled away, and deeply looked into my own eyes. A single tear fell. I pulled myself back in, opening my sensetive lips and gently extending my passionate tounge. The moment lasted forever, and I walked off into the moon holding my own hand...
have you ever made out with someone ➔ ok comment and ask me if I should write another story. If I get 2 "yes" then I write it.
have you ever been cheated on ➔ once one of my friends cheated at taboo she kept ringing the bell
have you ever been proposed to ➔ yes when I had a dream where I found a golden ring but accidently ingested it. When I shat it out that was a "yes"
do you want to get married ➔ sure whatever have a family live a happy life until I get alzheimer's and die/kill myself. but seriously there is a bit in the family so I may run off the deep end?
do you want kids ➔ sure give birth to a whole litter or kittens or whatevs


Country
where were you born ➔ The US
where do you live right now ➔ in a figment [or fig] of my own imagination
have you ever been out of the country ➔ Europe, Mexico, I think Canada or something?, and Costa Rica
do you prefer country or city ➔ corn
do you like sightseeing ➔ yeah I check out tourist traps and babes ;)
is one or more of your parents from another country ➔ my dad was born in Korea and came here when he was like 3 but became a citizen much later
what places would you like to visit ➔ Korea, Australia, Singapore, and I really want to go back to Costa Rica
what languages can you speak ➔ English [fluent], Korean [barely I like know how to say "yes, no, hello, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5?" and some foods], spanish [learning, somewhere near the end of Spanish 1 I think] and fluent in absolute bullshit

Health
do you have any allergies ➔ yes public displays of affection idk
are you lactose intolerant ➔ nope I love that white stuff that people drink
have you had surgery ➔ my umbilical cord was cut off a few days ago
have you had stitches ➔ No but they had to sow my head together and put nails in my temples now I'm that guy from frankenstein
have you broken a bone ➔ my funny bone and my heart
has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ kind of? alzheimer's led to pneumonia which led to pulling the plug so I guess
do you exercise a lot ➔ I say this tag is quite a workout


Experiences 
have you ever had a near death experience ➔ Bitch plz
have you ever been on a plane ➔ a lot like twice a year sometimes four
have you ever had an all nighter ➔ no but that report I hold off will cause something
have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔ no but when people think of my sexyness they can't sleep
have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ I don't really think so but sometimes I tried sparring with my brother or wrestling with my dad
have you ever been to a wedding ➔ my wedding
have you ever been to a funeral ➔ well yeah and I will bring rainbows for my own funeral
have you ever lived in a different country ➔ nu unless vacations count as living or my house is it's own nation
have you ever been drunk ➔ nah plz except there were a bunch of times I don't remember anything. ex: when I went touring a beer factory, baseball games, hippie concerts
have you ever been trick or treating ➔ yes I trick people and get some treats if you know what I mean wink wink
have you ever been in a school play ➔ yeah they were like 4/5 grades so fabulous
have you ever been to a camp ➔ yep every year SJC since 5th grade
have you ever driven a car ➔ yeah for a bit in a hotel parking lot and the lot of candlestick park


Skills
how many languages are you fluent in ➔ two English and Bullshit
have you ever read a book in another language ➔ I tried to read this spanish children's book "Leo Leo" but I didn't really get it
can you roll your tongue ➔ I don't know maybe?
can you braid hair ➔ what is that what do you do how what is braid
can you do a handstand ➔ yeah sure I'm a break dancing star why couldn't these people put some other things in this section


Habits
do you crack your knuckles ➔ yeah a bit too much
do you bite your nails ➔ Nu I bite other people's fingers
do you bite your lips ➔ Idk sometimes I bite the skin off because my lips are really chapped


Favourites 
what’s your favourite movie ➔ idk willy wonka or something
what’s your favourite tv show ➔ F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Family Guy, Louie
what’s your favourite book ➔ the ones I write :3
what’s your favourite song ➔ not sure Time of Your Life or Sweet Child o' Mine
what’s your favourite colour ➔ Orange like tanned asscheeks
what’s your favourite animal ➔ cats and reptiles
what’s your favourite season ➔ wherever the dreams go; i.e. my ass


This or that
summer or winter ➔ Summer?
day or night ➔ night? 
cats or dogs ➔ Cats
rain or shine ➔ singing in the rain
coffee or tea ➔ I don't drink either but coffee
reading or writing ➔ writing the most erotic stories that everyone loves jk
humorous or serious ➔ serious. HA JK LOL DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK I SAID THAT
brown or blue eyes ➔ black and empty like dreamless sleep
single or group dates ➔ single?
texts or calls ➔ both are cool
driving or walking ➔ "drive on through life and follow your dreams"
    -crappy quote 2015


Last
last phone call ➔ in a skype call right now with my brother and my friend sophia
last text ➔ Nachi. Happy Birthday!
last song you listened to ➔ Clocks by Coldplay
last thing you ate ➔ Cup o' noodles and people's ladyparts
last thing you drank ➔ gee maybe that white stuff they spoke of in "Health" but maybe lemonade. or is it?
last purchase ➔ ball in a cup is back baby!
last time you cleaned your room ➔ oh Jesus I don't even
last time you’ve been on a date ➔ with my right hand haha jk I've never dated plz don't bury me alive for that answer

Well this tag was fun and painfully long! I don't want to tag anyone but feel free to do this!
© 2015 - 2024 fatpig321
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